One of the modules that I am taking at Durham University this year is the Study of Religion. This is looking at what religion is and what it does from a non-religious perspective. That is, trying to understand why people do what they do, rather than subscribing to a particular set of beliefs. One way of looking at religion is to describe it as “meaning making” – the way that humans make sense of the world around us. In the last seminar of the term, we discussed Christmas – what are “preferred emotions” that are encouraged at Christmas, what are the values? Where does Father Christmas fit into all of this? The other students in the group are in their late teens. For most of them, Christmas is a completely nonreligious holiday. It is a time to get together with family and friends, to give and receive presents, to have a good time. As one student put it, “I don’t think we mention Jesus at all”.

Christmas has always been a time of mixed experiences and mixed emotions for me. I was brought up Catholic and Midnight Mass was one of the magical moments of Christmas, stepping out into the cold dark night after the service, feeling joyful and uplifted by the carols and the ritual of it all. Christmas time with a large family could be wonderful, it could also be difficult, as many people experience at this time of year. At some point over the festive season, my mother would invariably utter the immortal words “The whole Christmas has been ruined. “ As an adult, I married into a totally unchurched family and was also actively involved in paid church ministry. It often felt as though I had two completely independent, yet valuable and meaningful Christmases – my religious one and my secular one.

So, what is Christmas really about? What is the message that we can offer to people for whom there may never have been a Christ in Christmas? When I was putting up my Christmas lights, I played around with different shapes. Finally, I created a heart shape. These are the lights that shine out into my street. This is the message that I want to send out into the world. Christmas is about love. For Christians, it is about Love come down to live with us. When we act out of love, towards friend or stranger, that’s when we are being Christ’s hands and feet in the world. People may not be interested in the story of a baby in a stable, but they know real love when they experience it. This seems like a good first step for showing anyone what the true meaning of Christmas is. May your Christmas be filled with love this year.

God bless

Cecilia

It was my privilege and honour to serve the MCC congregations in South Africa for four years when I was Elder. The very first time I visited the country, I was picked up at Cape Town airport and was shown around the area, including Cape Point. It was amazing to see ostrich and zebra wandering freely and see Table Mountain rising above the city. My overwhelming thought, as I sat looking out of the car window was “How could something so ugly have happened in such a beautiful country?” The “ugly thing” of course had been apartheid.

Later in the week, my guide showed me around the different places that his family had been forced to live, as the authorities changed the designation of different areas. He was classed as “Cape Coloured”, not treated as badly as Black South Africans, but certainly not white. The startling example of this housing policy was an area of District Six, near where Good Hope MCC used to worship. This area of land was completely cleared of housing one day by bulldozers and the people forcibly evicted. The land still lay empty when I was there, except for a church building, which even the bulldozer drivers dared not destroy.  One day, we saw schoolboys climbing over a fence, clearly taking time out from school. My guide was furious and told me about all the protests that he had been on, just to have access to a basic education.

I met older Black South Africans who told me what it was like to vote for the first time ever and younger ones who told me that they didn’t feel affected by apartheid at all. I met White South Africans who were frightened and felt deeply threatened by the changes that they were seeing in their country, and as well as others who were part of movement to bring down apartheid.

From the comfort of the UK, it is impossible to imagine what it must have been like to live under apartheid, for anyone in South Africa. How then, must it have been to see Nelson Mandela released from prison and to have the opportunity to elect him as President? Instead of a blood bath and retribution, there was the promise of a rainbow nation and opportunities for all. One man’s determination to show grace, forgiveness and faith in humanity made the difference between a country plunged into civil war and a nation working towards reconciliation and peace. The world is a better place for the life and example of Nelson Mandela.

God bless,

Cecilia

At the moment, I am reading “Comfortable with Uncertainty” by Pema Chödrön as my daily reflection book. When I get up, most mornings I make myself a cup of tea, light a candle and sit in silence for a bit. Then I read one chapter of this book – each chapter is only a page long or slightly longer. I read it through twice, out loud, and then just sit and think about what I’ve read, or pray for a while. There are 108 chapters, so the book has been my companion for a fair bit of time, and now I am on the final few pages.

The teachings in the book are Buddhist in tradition, although they can be easily applied to any mindful, spiritual life. The book has taught me a variety of things; perhaps the most important lesson I have learned is to be kind to myself. The book invites me to observe myself - my thoughts, my emotions and reactions in a compassionate way. I am asked just to notice, without judging or praising, what is happening inside myself. Underneath this, I start to examine what my motivations are – am I running away from pain, moving towards comfort, being indifferent to a situation? It also helps me to see the stories, daydreams, scenarios that I make up in my head to deal with life and to ask myself what I need, that I create these stories, then just let them go. I have found this helpful to understand myself better. Once we recognise our own stuff, we are able to be more compassionate towards others.  We understand better that they may be experiencing the ups and downs of life, just as we are. 

I know that some of you may be thinking “What is she on about?” or “Too much navel-gazing!” Perhaps that’s true. However, I do think that knowing how I tick, how I respond to people and situations, helps me to understand other people better. Empathy is defined as “the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another person’s feelings”. Another way of putting it is this “If you want to know what it is like for the other person, walk a mile in their shoes.” Our worship theme this month is Advent Conspiracy. The Sunday themes are Worship Fully, Spend Less, Give More, Love All. This is all about thinking about the needs of others, those we know and want to give something special to this Christmas, and those we don’t know, but who will be helped by the money we don’t spend and are able to give away. This is all about understanding someone else’s life and wanting to make a difference in a positive way. Be kind to yourself this week, be kind to another.
God bless,

Cecilia