We are starting the “Creating a Life that Matters” course again this week, or “CLM” as it is known for short. CLM is basically a time to stop and think. We think about our relationship with God, with our own selves, and with the things that we are passionate about. It is a journey, which for some is life-changing.

At University, I attend weekly lectures and fortnightly seminars. Seminars are smaller groups where you discuss short essays you have prepared on some reading set by the lecturer. In the first seminar I attended, I was the oldest in the group by approximately 32 years. Each of us was asked why we wanted to do “Study of Religion.” Most of the students wanted to study something that wasn’t solely about Christianity. I said that I just wanted time to think, time to explore “what it all means.” Most of us spent most of our time too busy engaging with life to step back a bit and see the bigger picture, or to explore what really matters to us. Sometimes, it can feel as though we are on a treadmill that we just can’t get off.

One of the great privileges of conducting a funeral is the opportunity to sum up a person’s life – their beliefs, their qualities and their passions. I listen carefully to as many people as I can, so that I get a rounded picture of who the person was. I get to hear about a great friendship or a family rift, from another about a hard worker, or the office clown. I hear about hobbies taken up and never pursued, or the determination of a passionate sportsperson. All of these aspects begin to tell the story of a life that matters.

When we are stuck in life or struggling to see a bigger picture, writing our own obituary is a way of teasing out what is important, what we want to be remembered for. It starts to show those parts of our lives that we are happy and fulfilled in, and those parts that are lacking something, or that we are deeply unhappy about. Creating or having a life that matters is not about an easy life. Relationships, meeting personal goals, even having patience in waiting, all require effort. It about living a life that is fulfilling to us and leaves a mark, hopefully in a good way. As Mother Teresa said “We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.”

Give yourself the time this week, to see what really matters in your life.

God bless

Cecilia

On BBC 4 at the moment there is a series on cathedrals. Last night I caught the end of the programme on Wells Cathedral. A middle-aged woman with cascading earrings made of buttons was being interviewed in the cathedral about her links with the place. I was only half-listening as she described happy childhood memories and then life with her husband. The programme finally got my full attention when this well spoken, respectable sounding woman answered one question with the answer “When I was an addict.”

She went on to describe all the different drugs that she used to take – legal and illegal, to help her deal with intense pain that she felt inside. During that time in her life, she got a job as a cleaner at the cathedral. She described how, in those difficult times, being in the cathedral was like seeing a door being opened into another world, which was open to her should she want it. Now she is on staff at the cathedral and sees it in its reality – cold sometimes, not always working in the way it could, but it is “real” and that is what she loves.

Another man who is a volunteer talked about the need for people to have a space that they can “sink into and just take time out”. 

I will go back and watch the rest of the programme to see what other stories unfold. It was interesting to hear people talking so passionately about such an ancient and, some might say redundant, building. It was also fascinating in those two stories that neither mentioned how splendid the worship was or how impressively the educational programme covered a wide range of issues. It was about giving people time and space. 

So many church buildings now are locked up during the day because of vandalism and theft. Yet, often if we are having an activity in the church in the evening or on a Saturday, people will come in to say a prayer or look around. Occasionally we also have people seeking financial help or practical assistance. In the midst of a busy, technological world, sacred space is still needed and is recognised as something “other”.

We don’t need to have a cathedral building; we don’t even need a church building to create a sacred space. We just need to have an attitude of “seeking the Divine” and create an atmosphere of tranquillity and welcome.  What are your sacred places?

God bless

Cecilia

Last week I celebrated my birthday (51, and yes, I had a lovely day with friends, thank you for asking). That is the key word for me - “celebrating”. I have always loved my birthday. I never work on my birthday unless I absolutely have to. I don’t need to have a big fuss made or even a cake. Even last week, when I knew that there would not be a pile of presents waiting for me, I still had that childish delight of waking up and remembering “It’s my birthday!” I just enjoy having a day to relish being me and to just do what I would like to do. I understand that for some people, a birthday may be a poignant or difficult time. Some people don’t like to be reminded that they are getting older and perhaps it is hard to celebrate when life is difficult, sad or lonely.

However, the truth remains that each and every one of us currently exists. We live and breathe and walk through the world. God gave us life and breath. Whether we choose to acknowledge that on our birthday or on any other day of our choosing is up to us. How would it be then to have a day when we just relish in the fact that God made us and loves us? How would it be to sit and acknowledge all the things that make us unique and special? Many of us spend time focussing on our faults, mistakes and the things we struggle with. What about having a day when we just go through the things that we are good at, enjoy doing, make us happy etc.

I once went to a prayer session that focussed on the body. We were guided in prayer as we started at our toes and prayerfully considered each part of our body. As someone who has always been very self conscious of my body weight, I was not looking forward to this at all. However, as my hands blessed different aspects of my physique, I began to realise that I quite like different bits of my body. For example, my feet and hands are tiny, but I like the way they look. They do their job well and I am glad I have them.

It is easy to overlook what qualities we have and who we are. Culturally, we are not encouraged to even talk about our good qualities, as this is seen as boastfulness or bigheadedness. However God made us in God’s image. It is not boastful for me to say I have blue eyes. It is just a fact. It is not arrogant to say I can write. It too is a fact. Pick a day this week to celebrate who you are – a much loved child of God.

God bless

Cecilia

The building in which MCC Newcastle worships is rich with memorials to former members and beautiful stained glass. In one window, on the organ side, there is a panel depicting Jesus riding into Jerusalem and the crowds waving palm branches. Nothing too exciting or original about that….except that the donkey upon which he is riding is pink.

Pink in my mind is the gay colour. The origin of this connection is not a good one. In the Nazi concentration camps, different groups were given symbols or badges to wear – Jews wore a yellow star, “antisocial” (lesbian) women were given inverted black triangles to wear and gay men, pink triangles. Just like reclaiming the word “queer”, the colour pink has been embraced as a positive, rather than negative aspect of gay identity – Pink Paper, the pink pound etc.

The pink donkey in the stained glass window pleases me on many levels. It took me a long while to notice it, tucked away in one corner. Yet it has always been there, as much a part of the church fabric, as any of the other images and memorials. The donkey is fully centre stage in the window, playing such a vital part in the story and just faithfully doing what it is asked to do. Donkeys are grey or brown in colour generally. This one has all the characteristics that are required of a donkey – strength, stamina, calmness in a crowd, and it is also delightfully different, fabulous and beautiful even.

This month, we are starting to really listen for what God is calling us to do and to be, as we develop a vision for the future of MCC Newcastle. We are learning about dreams and visions in scripture, and also listening to the community around us, and what they need. During the month, we are collecting images, poems, music, anything that somehow captures the essence of MCC Newcastle now or hints at the vision of its future.

For me, the pink donkey is one of those images. LGBT people have always been part of the church, as well as others who dared to be different. We have been willing to serve faithfully and play our part. We have been active and present at some of the biggest moments of church history, even if we have been not noticed or ignored. We have also just wanted to be fully ourselves.

This week, look and listen for what represents MCC Newcastle to you. Share it on Sundays.

God bless

Cecilia